


Trans(lation of Mind)

by emrys (livingshitpost)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Acceptance, Androids, Artificial Intelligence, Brotherhood, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Coming Out, Cyborgs, Dubious Science, Fake Science, Family, Gen, Misgendering, Not Beta Read, Pseudo-Science, Robots, Science Fiction, Self-Acceptance, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, like. really loosely based., pblbt i think that's enough tags, the misgendering is unintentional dw, this is loosely based on soma lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 22:17:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingshitpost/pseuds/emrys
Summary: Gender can't be changed through ones and zeroes.Or; the one where a boy comes to terms with who he is with a bit of help from himself.





	Trans(lation of Mind)

March 12

Kamila doesn’t like me. I had been warned she might not be too hot on the idea of me, but her anger towards me seems almost . . . irrational. She knew of my creation, surely. I was modeled after her. Up until January 27 of last year, we share every memory. And yet, she rejects me, and refuses to accept that my programming remains untampered. Her disdain was obvious from the moment she first laid eyes on me. She said something about how I should be “more like” her. Weird.

Perhaps I should not have cut off my hair before going to meet her. I will tell my supervisors that I want to pursue ways of making myself look more feminine again.

 

March 13

I’ve been given a new scalp. It looks like the one I had before I cut my hair. The same length, the same colour. Apparently it was organically grown from stem cells harvested when Kamila was born.  All of my skin is. Interesting.

I’m to meet with Kamila again later today.

 

Kamila was more relaxed when we spoke again. I can’t quite explain the look she had in her eyes. She looked kinda sad. But she agreed to sit down and talk with me. She is, as of now, my only human companion who isn’t an employee. She is the only other teenager I have really interacted with since coming into existence.

 

March 14

I feel uncomfortable. The wardrobe they gave me doesn’t feel right, somehow.  Having long hair is nice, but I liked it better when it was shorter. I have a feeling Kamila is hiding something from me.

What could have happened in the last year that she wouldn’t want herself to know?

 

She won’t tell me anything. Every time I ask about what happened between the scan and my awakening, she tells me about things that have happened in the world. I’ve tried telling her that’s not what I mean, but when I specify that I want to know what’s happened to _her_ , she abruptly changes the subject. Something is definitely wrong.

 

March 15

I was tested today to be sure that my knowledge of human society is intact. Towards the end, I was told to differentiate between pictures and descriptions of boys and men versus girls and women. I was told that I did very well, but Kamila grew restless when I was told to identify myself. I had pointed to the picture of the boy on the left. Should I not have done that? Am I closer to being a man in terms of age?

 

March 16

Oh.

 

March 17

My day yesterday was spent doing research. From what I can tell, it would seem that Kamila isn’t a girl. Not mentally. He’s a trans boy. I don’t know what he calls himself in his time alone, so I’m going to have to continue using Kamila to refer to him, but he doesn’t present himself as a boy, so I’m going to keep quiet. He should come out on his own terms.

 

He started crying when I brought it up. I couldn’t tell if he was upset or relieved, but he confirmed my suspicions that I’m not to tell anyone. However, he also said that that shouldn’t stop me from showing who I really am, and that, if I wished, I should choose a new name for myself. I thanked him for that. Being referred to as “Subject 841” was becoming cumbersome.

 

March 18

I’ve decided on Tariq. Kamila laughed when I told him that, telling me that he always liked the name Tarek. Since, originally, we were the same person, he said it would be appropriate for us to have different spellings of the same name.

Tarek also told me he was planning on coming out to his/our mother later on in the week. He asked if I wanted to do the same when I was released to visit home. I agreed, of course.

 

March 19

I’m on the train now. Tarek is just across from me, playing a game on his tablet. He’s left handed, I should have assumed as much, seeing as I’m left handed too, but it’s still an interesting thing to see.

It’s harder to write when he takes my hand, but I don’t mind. He needs the reassurance that comes from it, and I’m more than happy to be there for him.

 

March 20

Tarek and I came out to his/our mother today. It was nice. She gave us both kisses on our foreheads and helped us cut our hair, then gave Tarek a snack and me my supplements to keep my organic exterior alive. It was nice. She’s just how I remember her; kind and supportive and smelling of cinnamon.

It feels nice to be home.

* * *

 

March 1

Despite my origins, Tarek and I are more brothers now than alternate selves. We have enough differing experiences to be considered separate people now. We were always considered separate by other people, but for a long time it was hard for me to know for sure that I was different from him, and not just because I was created in a lab specialized in robotics and artificial intelligence.

I’m glad to have found a brother in myself, as odd as that sounds. As odd as that is. As odd as we are.


End file.
